My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think i have herpe
just one?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
