i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How naked do you want me to be?
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