Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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