and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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