She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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