i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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