So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need a beard to bite.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
