Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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