What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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