try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dignity is for republicans.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
