how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
