Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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