physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize