the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
