Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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