I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
These tits shall not be calmed
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
