i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We need to rekindle our bromance
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
