This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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