plz talk dirty to me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
