i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
