Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
