Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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