When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
40s are totally the cure
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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