She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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