nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize