i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
