My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
kristin has been a bad kristin
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
