just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Congratulations! We have a period
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
