Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it hurts more in the daytime
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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