I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this boner is exhausting
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
