know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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