I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
