i may or may not be watching the land before time
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
