I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
