How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
