problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
