If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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