we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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