Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
