just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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