That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
