i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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