somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
