Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
