oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
