it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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