Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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