Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
