Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
