walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
