I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
