I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
