I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What a dumb baby whore.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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