Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
