I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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