Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
