I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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