she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
