Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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